It shouldn’t be this difficult.

So Miles takes Jason and me out to lunch at a place called Desperado’s. I was ravenous for a salad, as I often am. The thing is, I dislike salad dressing. Liiiikeimmensely.

This really surprises people…! I have no idea why, either! To me, the dressing covers up much of the vegetable taste in salads…but maybe that’s the point. It must just be nonsensical to suppose that a person could be eating a salad because they like vegetables. Crazy.

Anyway, I wanted a Chicken Caesar Salad without the Caesar Dressing. I don’t think this is so odd. My friend Anna used to order Chicken Caesar Salads without the Chicken and nobody thought anything of it! I placed my order and the waiter stared at me for several seconds before saying,

No Dressing? So………… Caesar Dressing?

That’s correct.

No Caesar Dressing on your Chicken Caesar Salad…?

Right. (need me to draw you a picture?)

So…you want like…a House Salad?



I want everything that is on the Chicken Caesar Salad, except the dressing.

*blank stare*

So…that’s a Chicken Caesar Salad, No Dressing?



You know, every now and then I find myself lying awake in bed at night, wondering why my sanity feels strained.

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