While the hammering is not underway at the lot quite yet, there sure are a lot of hammers currently employed along the back of my head. More of that later (it’s a scintillating read, just you wait).
- House Stuff
We’ve decided to decorate our hole-in-the-ground with gravel and concrete…didn’t the design come together nicely!? Our evening commute (Nick and I carpool most days) includes a lot drive-by more often than not. One day last week, we saw a cement mixer in the distance ahead as we approached our future neighborhood. Giddiness ensued as we put two and two together (to arrive at four).
We broke ground much earlier than necessary for a December completion date, but our builder decided to cushion the timeline since we have that luxury. The point of this detail is that we’re in no great rush to push forward on progress at this point in the process, but it sure is exciting to see our little hole-in-the-ground come to life!
- Pain Stuff
So, it’s not something a person points out to people, and most of the time it’s just this invisible thing that’s there, but I have been in pain every day of my life for the majority of the last decade. It started with that lousy [surprise] surgery in 2006, and just never went away. I feel like I’ve been my own worst enemy at times. I tend to be stubborn, thinking, “I’m not going to let this get me down!” I do things that someone with a wonky back shouldn’t do—you know, like run 1000 miles in a year or walk a marathon (I just realized that I never posted about the marathon we walked…for shame! Here’s a link for the half marathon we walked the year before—just pretend!).
I should berate myself for these efforts because they haven’t been the smartest choices physically. I look at accomplishments like these with a mixture of emotions. Regardless of the physical repercussions, they helped hold my frame of mind in a positive place. I was able to keep my chin up and feel like I’m still in charge of my body’s ability. I was still able to do anything I put my mind to (my mind over matter mantra lived to fight another day). I still didn’t have to accept the word can’t.
I have been diligently completing my physical therapy exercises and hope that my condition will be livable again. As I posted last week, the rehabilitative exercises we’ve been working on for my lower back and hips have resulted in increased tension through my neck and upper back. The headaches have been increasing in duration and frequency, and I find myself completely sidelined when they strike. My physical therapist gave me a book to read on the psychology of pain to help me cope, and it has me questioning everything I thought I knew.
I worked with an actual psychologist through my pain clinic earlier this month to determine if that branch of medicine would be a fit for alternative treatment for pain. What’s frustrating is that there are issues wrong with me that would cause pain, but the amount of pain I’m feeling does not have a smoking gun. I saw “CPS” (Chronic Pain Syndrome) on my chart recently and worry that it means the end of people trying to help me fix this. Meanwhile, my head aches, and I cannot think clearly…I cannot think at all.
- Weight Management
I started a new lifestyle (diet-wise) beginning today. I had an appointment at the clinic last Friday, and I am cautiously optimistic that this will help me get to a good place with myself and in my life. I don’t want to get into too many specifics on my food plan since it’s still so new, but I know I won’t be able to forge on if it actually makes my headache worse instead of better. Fingers crossed!
That’s all I have folks: disjointed and incomplete is a signature I’ve perfected! Have a great week!