"Debbie told me to tell you, because she knows you hate them above all else, that some grapes managed to make their way home from the grocery store." I jumped to my feet and looked upon the innocent face of my husband, waiting for him to nod or bob his eyebrows, or do something to backup his last statement. He widened the slothful hoods over his eyes to reflect soulful pools of sincerity as he tucked his lower lip beneath his teeth and lowered his chin affirmatively.
I raced toward the stairs, the wolves of haste nipping at my heels. I took the steps two at a time, then three. Then I fell back four steps, stumbled back 3 more as I found my balance, and then took them one at a time to the summit. There, I paused, peeking around the corner and canvassing the room. Aunt Debbie stood at the sink, rinsing something in a colander while a misguided meteorologist pretended to understand weather patterns on the small TV across the room.
Summoning a spot of courage, I stood strong, inhaled deeply, puffed out my chest, and stalked into the room with unbent knees. My fists pumped rapidly in practiced arcs, my elbows cocked staunchly at right angels. Two strides and I was there, gazing wildly about the place. My heart thudded deafening and I spotted my prey. Having been recently washed, the green and purple orbs beckoned sinfully. "Oh, you got the message, huh?" Debbie asked, noticing me standing there. Odd that my gutsy entrance should go unnoticed, I thought.
I converged on the vines and tore savagely at the buds. A good seven or eight grapes successfully masticated, I wiped the back of my hand against my mouth and trod back toward the stairs. Miles met me as the fresh stains of battle began to dry and he stared. I don't know if he saw the feral savagery that raged within me just then, but he backed away, slowly.
"Took care of the grapes, did you?" he asked in a gentle lion tamer's voice.
"Started. I'm hoping to take care of a few more by nightfall." He nodded, looking reassured. Worry not, fair husband: I shall not let the grapes of wrath prevail.
