As per a 2003 focused study, I was the absolutely last among my generation to embrace cell phones. And it wasn't a Kate-n-Leo, My Heart Will Go On kind of hug, but more of a "I know she's my first cousin twice removed, but why does she always smell like moth balls?" back-pat.

I stood firm that there were times that people did not need to be available for phone contact. At church, in a coffee shop, or while consuming a soft-serve ice cream cone. The reverent moments that make life worth living, you know? This way of thinking came prior to my reexamination of Plato's notes wherein he philosophized that not all ringing phones need be answered. Smart man, that Plato was.

Even so, I did not personally own a cell phone. The contract was in my name, sure, but I wanted nothing to do with it. Cell phones cause Brain Cancer—I heard it on the radio—so they're pretty much up there with drinking diet soft drinks and breathing Earth's air: things to be avoided at all costs in the prevention of the big "C".

But then I began using one. It is quite inexpensive to add a phone to a cell contract, did you know? Yes, well it is. So much so that it was more economic to add $5 to my cell phone bill than to continue paying $45 for the land-line + long distance. Common sense is my Siren's song. I wasn't a big phone person at the time....I only used about an hour a day, the majority of which was my evening phone call with Mom. As nights and weekends are unlimited by way of minutes, sharing the current allotment was more than adequate.



By the time I was once again a Wisconsin resident, I never left home without it. Even so, we reduced our monthly minutes plan to share 800, nights starting at 7PM. Miles was the talk-aholic. Count on me for a decent 1-200 minutes, and you can have the rest, Dearie. But gradually...my jaw became diseased, and it began to flap incessantly. In February, I finally got around to customizing the Sprint contract to suit my needs and my needs alone. I knew I didn't need 800 minutes all to myself. I knew, also, that I now needed more than 200.

So I signed up for a 400 minute plan. This should have been a non-issue. Imagine my surprise to find that I talked 530 minutes last month, not including nights/weekends. Yowsers. But I still haven't gotten to the point of this meandering narrative. Don't worry, it's a-comin'.

I am able to keep my cell phone on and at my desk at work, in the event that somebody need contact me. Yesterday, disturbingly, I neglected to bring my cell to work. I was a lost puppy, totally and utterly pathetic, and I felt so disconnected that I trembled. I groaned to my reflection in the bathroom mirror after I splashed the cold, revitalizing water upon my face, "I've become one of thoooooose people!"

I used to be nostalgic. I used to be an anomaly, a throwback to a gilded era of "homemade" and "invested time"....now I've been inducted to the twenty-first century's hall of shame to live with the other mere, digitalized, impersonal wretches. I think this would depress me to a greater degree if it wasn't so handy to check my email while in queue at the bank drive-thru or to irritate Brenda with a text message to which she'll hate volleying.