Hello. My name is Laura, and I used to write blurbs and publish them on this website—no joke, I really did. So much so, that I used to force it if nothing truly interesting warranted documentation.

This week has been a mess. There's something wonky with my stomach but they can't figure out what it is. I remarked candidly to Nick last night as we began our run that lately I had been feeling both sleepiness and hunger! These are quite foreign to me these days. Fatigue I know all too well, the feeling of being "dried up"...know that one too...but actually feeling like I could sleep? CRAZY. The last couple of mornings when the alarm sounded at 4:30 I had strong urges to stay in bed—a bit of a departure for someone who begins watching the minutes tick by at 3:00. In any event, I shattered the spell by eating dinner last night, and I was feeling lousy enough that I actually delved into the sleeping aids.

Let's see, what else has made this week a teensy bit miserable? Well, my poor aunt, Brenda, has been sicker than a dog this week. Everyone is mowing their lawns...which on one hand is lovely because it's another bit of Winter chiseled away...but on the other, it makes grass allergy sufferers, no matter how minor the degree, feel crappy. No, crappy-squared. I'm one of the freaky darlings who welcomes that sweltering humidity of Summer--weighs down the flighty pollen.

And then there's the ever-strengthening longing to have Mom back. I ask those who've lost how long it takes to make the pain go away. They all answer that it never does...eventually you just run out of tears. I'm inundated with the joyous memories I was able to capture last Summer. Life will never be quite as golden for me, and I feel fortunate for having documented so many of her healthy moments, her personality, on this blog. I often read old entries, and even if a post isn't about her, I remember everything from the moment I wrote.

Then there's the frustration with insurance...I pay for my own, it isn't offered as a benefit at work. I seem to be paying an awful lot every month for inadequate coverage, yet I can't seem to find a better plan. I met with another agent on Wednesday to discuss my options, no dice, and spoke with another rep on the phone yesterday. It wouldn't be such a big deal, except they keep scheduling follow-up appointments for me. RARR. Quite frustrating. I just want to feel good again, dang it!

Meanwhile, Relay for Life is earlier this year—by two months! We're getting a late jump on forming a team, and I didn't realize what all was involved when I was asked to co-chair. I spoke at length with the other chair on Tuesday, from my church's sister church, and we've got to gauge how many people would seriously like to join...because a team is 15; 20 max. Dear me. I have had many nods of interest in participating—but saying and doing are two different things entirely. This afternoon, I'm meeting with the proxy I sent to the chairpersons meeting a few weeks ago when I was ill. Actually, I need to stop measuring time by when I was sick...too confusing. I should start going by when I feel healthy. That would be more specific.

Not only that, but I think the event actually falls around the exact time that I am finalizing my divorce. This is all very lovely timing, isn't it? I should be in excellent spirits all the way through. Let this be a lesson for me next time I agree to something so quickly. I'm drowning.

Work's been crazy...I was slammed with people wanting Medicare part D research this week...open enrollment ends May 15th, and the poor dears have only had since last October to figure out what they were going to do. Tax season is over now, so it's time to flood over-busy Laura.

I'm taking golf lessons with Brenda in May...tennis lessons with Sarah in June and July, taking classes at Summer's end/Fall's start...and somewhere in there, I'm going to enact a slowing down of life. Seems fated to fail, but my spirits are high.

Ok, well that's enough of this venting. Rambling discontent, how absolutely charming! Y'all come back now, ya hear?