So, I like popcorn.
Air popped.
Plain.
Thus, I have an air popper...and I think it has been my golden ticket for residence with my Aunt Brenda these six months complete. She is a popcorn lover from way back, and she was the fair maven who taught me that popcorn existed before there were even microwaves! (But not before stoves, obviously.)
The thing is, it's a pain to have to monitor the popping of the corn. It takes about two seconds shy of forever coax the little guys out of their shell using the oil-popped method, and it's quite easy to become distracted in the meandering dawdle of two seconds shy of forever...and particularly if you are of an attention deficit disorder state. Brenda, needless to say, finds popcorn popping of this fashion to be all together impossible and not a little improbable too.
The smell of burned popcorn tends to hang upon the air.
Enter the air popper:
Step one: Add popcorn.
Step two: Place bowl beneath spout.
Step three: Plug into outlet.
Step four: Walk away.
Step five: Sing a poor rendition of Aerosmith's Walk This Way.
Step six: Play the air guitar.
Step seven: Collect completed bowl of popcorn.
See? Simple. Sassy. Satisfying. The air popper is nothing short of absolutely perfect in every way. Brenda loves it, and pours the butter and salt as though they were the Promise Land's fabled milk and honey. She's had a popcorn strike going on about the house, a prohibition on the corn who would pop in the name of post-holiday waistline recovery. It's been hell.
Although I force my chosen lifestyle on no one, am outspoken on the subject not, I find it is still an issue. Yes, I am a somewhat-encyclopedia on healthful living...but if that's a resource you want to tap into, you've gotta open the cover. I don't read uninstructed. Brenda tucks her head shyly as I grab my bowl of plain popcorn and she pours the freshly melted butter over hers.
But today—TODAY!—she had a breakthrough as she glanced at a an article entitled something like Thoughts for 2006. Vindication was sweet, I am certain, as she read, "Health nuts are going to feel pretty silly lying in a hospital bed, dying of nothing."
