I felt a little off on New Year's Eve, you know. It was this odd sensation at the pit of my stomach, and not even grapes could sway me to appease my hunger—so you know it was serious. GRAPES!  I greeted the next day, the new year, with a raw throat and a predilection toward the unsure-footed. I had nice company to distract me from my ever-declining health then, but when I had the misfortune of waking the next morning I knew it was time for a little divine intervention. I looked to my spiritual leader, and, not surprisingly, Walgreen's did not disappoint. I was introduced to someone who might be of some comfort.

Tylenol Cold & Flu Severe Daytime was the name of the fellow, and I was smitten. For those of you who know me...I mean know me, know me, you know that I have a low tolerance for just about everything, be it caffeine, sugar, alcohol, or Clem. This mattered little to me as I downed a full dose. I was so miserable. Note that italicized "so".

Within an hour, I was feeling humanish again, and decided to change my clothing and hit the gym...I've been told that a good bit of cardio can chase away a head cold. The stairs seemed steeper as I descended, and I sought to fist the wall in my hand. Hmmm. I bent in half to tie my shoes after the alteration in apparel, and when I straightened, the room went wonky. I stumbled drunkenly in a two-foot perimeter before giving in and body-diving face-first into the bed.

I made it to the gym...eventually...I ran for an hour—and I am working to convince myself that I didn't look as maladroitly awkward as I felt. Perhaps that is redundant, but I think it pertinent to note that I couldn't even pull off "awkward" with a level of grace. The run did help, and I was breathing easier by the time I returned home...I even made plans to go see The Chronicles of Narnia. It was time for my next dose.

I had decided early-on that my previous, more dizzy state was due primarily to the cold. And, the buzzer sounds, "ENGH!" Nope, that was totally the drug. Totally. I have nearly finished the bottle now...and Brenda is due to pick me up another tonight. It isn't that I like being high, per se, but that I've never found such an effective cold remedy in all my years of lackluster immune system behavior. So what if I'm all bruised from walking into door frames, [windows], and the like? I can breathe through my nose!

I was given a procedures manual to read yesterday. (LOVE the job, by the way!) They kept telling me, "It won't make sense today, or any time soon, but we'll have you read it every morning and eventually it'll click." HAH!—little did they know! It could have read like See Spot Run and I would have had a lolling tongue and vacant expression. But hey...low expectations! Can't beat that! Whee!