Oh man, do I hate choice!

It weakens my efficiency and spreads irritation unto all who would accompany me. I bear twin burn marks upon my skull as a result of Miles' laser beam eyes at the DVD rental place. And the book store. And the produce section. And the...well, I shan't continue, as this is leading nowhere good and producing many an incomplete sentence.

I have frustrating qualities, as is befitting my human ancestry...and the grocery store seems to bring out the worst of them. It is just past the canned goods and yet, just before the health and beauty section, where I stumble upon the bane of my existence. It is an evil amidst all evils. It is the fabled wolf among the lambs. Vile, insufferable, and daunting, it calls to me...a Siren in the seas urging my demise. In short, it is the cereal aisle.

A staggering 8-foot display stretching the distance of several lengths of shoelaces spread end-to-end, and it is outfitted with a box in every color of rainbow. General Mills, Kellogg's, Ralston Foods, and Kashi all hold their place, the Quaker Oats dude lording over the Eastern agglomeration.

I nearly met my end today as I approached the towering mass. I usually avoid the aisle completely, or send Miles on errand to retrieve a specific cereal. So much cardboard...so many colors...so many 90° angles. I think my brain hiccuped for six minutes complete as I stared down the long corridor of aisle-5. Then, pacing with somnambulant steps, I wore a tread of my own into the reflective floor tile.

I picked up one box, studying its nutritional data. I carried it while I paced. I saw another box and studied its nutritional data. I carried it too while I paced. Then I saw another, and picked it up without studying it at all...my hands were too full. I paced still...back and forth, to and fro, unerringly, obsessively, and not a little compulsively.

Then I blinked, and the spell was broken. The reverence of the boys choir left my ears and I hastily returned the boxes to their proper places. Long strides now, heel to toe, I paced with determination. Finally, unsure and unsettled, I grabbed a box blindly and alighted from the scene as one of the hands of indecision strove to ensnare me once more.