Mom and I watched Raising Helen this afternoon. In the movie, there is a little girl who needs to learn how to tie her shoes. I looked to Mom and said, "You know, I don't remember learning to tie my shoes."

She looked at me like I just proclaimed that the refrigerator stays cold inside. "We kept you in Velcro." She patted my hand as if to say, "I'm sorry you are such a dimwit," and then returned her attention to the movie.