With my father, last night:

(Dad)  "Where are Gramma's cookies!?"

(Me)  "If the containers in the kitchen are empty, I guess they're gone."

(Dad)  "YOU MADE MORE. I SAW."

(Me)  "Those are for Miles."

(Dad)  "Where are they?"

(Me)  "They're not for you."

(Dad)  "WHERE. ARE. THEY!?"

(Me)  "THEY'RE. NOT. FOR. YOU."

His inner diva came out then, as he stomped from the room and sulked for the rest of the evening.

With my brother, last night:

(Charlie)  "Say, you're kind of a shrimp, aren't ya?"

(Me)  "I don't think that's the case at all."

(Charlie)  "No?"

(Me)  "No, that's you, if anything. When you were young, I'd always say to myself, 'Now, there's one shellfish little boy.'"

I was really the only one who found that funny...but I giggled at it all night.

With my mother, weeks ago:

(Mom)  "Your hair is getting so dark!"

(Me)  "Don't I know it—isn't it depressing?"

(Mom)  "Not at all; I think it suits you."

(Me)  "Naturally you'd say that; I'm slowly adopting your coloring."

(Mom)  "You've never forgiven me for giving you that mismatched eye, have you?"

(Me)  "..."

(Mom)  "But it makes you unique!"

(Me)  "You probably had the hiccups while the genes were deciding what should go where, heh. My left eye is a Michelangelo and my right is friggin' a Picasso!"

For the rest of that afternoon, she was unable to look at my face without erupting in laughter.

With my husband, yesterday:

(Miles)  "Oh, by the way, the Upton Photography site is basically right on. They want the camera replaced with something non-photography and it's done."

(Me)  "...Replaced with something non-photography!? Well what the heck!?"

(Miles)  "I thought you'd get a kick out of that, lol..."

(Me)  "No wonder this client has been a nightmare! I've been working on the assumption that photographers would want to advertise that they take pictures! What was I thinking!?"

(Miles)  "Yeah, that wasn't too smart, Honey. Hah! I love you!"

Let's just say that he's lucky that he's already my alpha and my omega.