You know, it's just plain silly: I cower at the feet of profile-writing. "It's daunting, too exposing," I'll justify. "And what in the world could I find to talk about for any amount of time anyway?"

These are the words of a very confused blogger.

My name is Laura Phillips, and this is my website. I was born and raised in a rural community in Wisconsin by a man of a humor cornier than succotash and a woman whose biting wit could make a yeti whimper. It is of these that I am made.

I have a penchant for the creative all while maintaining a status of neat freak—no mean feat. Lauras are rather known to be quirky, and this incongruence seems to not disappoint. Fittingly, I like cookie scoops for more than scooping cookies. I think they're one of God's greatest creations, actually. I still marvel over what I've seen them do with an otherwise slothful dollop of sour cream.

Other vices include the practices of coffee-drinking, gum-chewing, and really bad pun-making. I employ each equally excessively. I am also a slave to alliteration—to say nothing of personification. I have been labeled a "big softie" by the drove of coffeemakers that I've let crawl into my bed during a thunderstorm.

I lived in Wilmington, NC for a few years...beautiful place. Every now and then we'd walk the beach and I wondered at hearing the ocean but seeing nary a conch shell. They don't have winters there, you know. At least not the sort with ice and snow, and what other sort of winter is there? I returned to Wisconsin in June of 2005, and man!—Nobody does seafood like the Wisconsinites!

You will find that my mind wanders, that it lollygags, and that it sometimes even performs the splits. I've a head for useless information, and I talk to inanimate objects. I go all mushy on the subject of Black & Decker coffeemakers, and have a tendency toward the giggly. I search for the lightness in life; the world can go cold awfully fast without your permission, and with little to no warning at all. I've learned that it isn't having what you want, but wanting what you have.

In January 2006, my mother lost her valiant struggle with Cancer. She was my world, and I would have sacrificed just about anything to give her more time to live the life that she so desperately loved. She was both my inspiration and my best friend—I am forever a better person because my life was touched by hers. I will miss her always and probably reference her as often—just a little heads up.

I currently live with the kindest, most incredible person (and, incidentally, my significant other), Nick. He has stood by my side through some very tough times and he has an interest in Maine Coons...score! A twofer! Is there a cat more beautiful than a Maine Coon? I think not. Now, if only I can convince him that there's nothing shameful about a thorough house-dusting and that there's no wrong way to cut a tomato, I'll be good to go. That last sentence won't make sense to you, but so will be the case with much of my writing, so I'll ease you into the confusion here.

So again, my name is Laura, and I hope you enjoy a spot of silly reading. Drop me a line if you so desire—I know I look fairly abrasive, but I'm not really so very scary.